“She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.” – Margaret Culkin Banning
This week’s motivation is one that’s pretty close to my heart, especially this last week with starting nanny and daycare. I read it, and thought it was the absolute perfect quote for a working mother. The author is a writer and early women’s rights advocate and while I’m not sure where exactly this quote is from the way that I read it is that even when leave to go to work and leave our kids with a babysitter, family, or daycare, we don’t just go off and forget about them for 8 or 9 hours. They are many times at the forefront of our minds throughout the day, and always in some part of our thoughts.
There is a huge guilt I feel, as I’m sure many if not all working moms feel when I leave my baby for the day or night, especially when he is sad as I’m leaving. There’s the guilt that someone else is putting him to bed at night, feeding him his meals, and playing with him throughout the day. There is also the guilt that comes from getting things done like dishes and laundry, and cooking done before or after work and not always giving him my full attention before I have to leave for the day or after I’ve been gone all day.
However, there is always a part of him that is with me. His photos are all over my phone and my locker at work, and his smile is in my head to get me through the day. I know that my working is providing a great life for him, and also showing him (as he gets older at least) that you have to work for things in life, and that hard work pays off. Yes, I could stay home with him if that’s what I really wanted, but I love the lessons I can teach him through working and the growth I experience for myself through working. Knowing that he is always with me in my thoughts and my heart, even when I have physically left him behind for the day is such a huge help to getting over that guilt and missing him that I feel.
Being a working mom is very hard. I understand the guilt you feel, but that feeling gets a little better with time. He is learning to be independent in your absence, and I am certain that he misses you just as much. In the end, this time he is spending with a Nanny or in DayCare with other kids will help build his character. As you know, my son was in Childcare from a very, very young age – and as much as I wanted to be at home with him, I needed to work so that me and my family could experience the life I thought was important at that time. I still wonder though how different things might have been had I stayed home, so I don’t think that ever totally leaves you. In the end, he turned out to be a very amazing man. He is and has always been pretty independent. He thrives when he is around other people. He makes friends easily, and is comfortable around all types of people.
Hang in there! It will get better with time.
Thanks! And that’s a very good point too – the social skills he’s learning are such valuable skills for later in life!