So as soon as you become pregnant it seems like your privacy is stripped away. From your doctor or midwife wanting to weigh in on every detail and your family and friends also wanting all the info and to give all of their opinions to complete strangers asking questions and offering advice, privacy is just gone.
Well I’m here to say it shouldn’t be! Doctors do need to know things and give advice, but everyone else? Not so much. This isn’t to say I don’t love sharing stuff sometimes, and mostly this is directed at strangers. But here are a few things that you just shouldn’t be saying to a pregnant woman – friend, family, or stranger.
“You’re pregnant!” or “You’re going to have a baby! “ Trust me, no woman who is pregnant needs anyone, especially a stranger, telling her she is pregnant. She knows.
“Are you excited?” Especially when coming from a stranger, who is going to say “No, I’m actually dreading this.”? Nobody is going to say this period, let alone to a cashier at Target.
“I understand how you’re feeling.” when said by a man. You do not understand. You have never been pregnant. You do NOT know how it feels.
“You look tired.” said by a stranger while a pregnant woman is out running errands. Unless you are offering your services to do something for her all you are doing is insulting her. Even if you are offering to help, she doesn’t need you to call her tired. Yes, she’s tired. She’s carrying around and building another human. She does not need you pointing out that she looks it. This is RUDE.
So what should you say?
“You look great!”
Something not related to pregnancy!! Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she wants to discuss that and only that. Believe it or not, she still has other things she does and is interested in.
Nothing. You do not need to comment on anything about a pregnant woman. If you wouldn’t say hi or have a conversation otherwise, that’s fine to not strike up a forced conversation that revolves around pregnancy.
“You’re going to make a great mom!” or “You’re doing a great job!” Especially when she has another little one already or looks confused looking at baby stuff. Being a mom isn’t easy. Being a pregnant mom really isn’t easy. But guess what? If being stop doing this, the human population dies off. So encourage moms (and dads while you’re at it) instead of making life harder or judging them!
Anything I’ve left off of here?
Just don’t tell me I’m pregnant or to look at my belly. I know it’s there. I don’t need to look.